Dream Blog

Dark Blog Postings

MC was right outside my bedroom; I asked if we could set up a meeting. He had just met with 2 other people, and he said we could meet right now. I said I'd be happy to wait till next week to meet. We set up an appointment. Then there was this other guy I needed to meet with, and we were tryin' to set something up. He asked when my meeting with MC was, and fortunately, I had written down: Wednesday at 3pm.

I had blogged a dream that had some dark material in it, and someone called "Australia" wrote a comment that my dream was too dark. The person went on to ask why people in America are so dark? We shouldn't be so dark when we have such a good selection of beers out here. I had recalled a previous blog I had set up to blog dreams, and realized I'd only done one entry, when someone from a European country, can't remember which one, left a critical comment, and I stopped doing it. At first, I thought about deleting the Australian guy's comment (I might've done that with the previous European one), but then I decided to argue against it. I don't remember what I was gonna write. The dream I had blogged was of me in a room, sitting on a beanbag chair in a corner, and there was this guy sleeping next to me that I was gonna have sex with. A friend was in the room with me, sitting in another corner, waiting to have sex with a guy who was over next to her, sleeping.

At some point, I think I was back together with J, and things were going good.

I dreamed that there was some genius guy at my school and I wanted to take a class with him in it. We were both gonna take Anatomy.

There was gonna be a vampire wedding, and there was a pile of bones in people's imaginations that were supposed to be their future babies.

Holes from the Bottom

I dreamed I was at my high school graduation, but it was all mixed up with the graduation I just went to. There were a lot of people there who, even though they were walking in the ceremony, had a year left to go. It's like, they had an extra year of high school they had to do, and it was this thing that happened recently; it was sort of sprung on them. Me and this one guy, D from my school, from the trauma clinic at my school, we were somehow exempt from that year thing. It's like we had already finished those extra requirements that had been sprung on everybody else.

There was a house, and people were busting through a floor. There were people in the story underneath that floor (so it was a ceiling to them) who were busting through it. There were people in the story above it (so it was the floor to them) also busting through it. I realized the people up top would fall through if the people on the bottom busted through without any warning. So everybody agreed to have the people up top take a break until they knew where the holes from the bottom were gonna appear.

Kind of Gross

Download Alcoholic summer surprise3

Download Alcoholic barbie doll2

I dreamed this morning that there was a certain school or work requirement where you had this form you had to submit at a certain time. You had to submit it on the date that was written in the top righthand corner. Underneath the date (or above it?), you had to submit a stool sample. There was this little plastic square, and I guess you were supposed to put poop in it.

Then things changed slightly, and what you were supposed to do was take a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl after taking a dump. These insurance (or something) people would look at the photo to determine how much your shit weighed, and if it weighed a certain amount, they would give you money. I thought back to the time that K joked about photos of toilet bowls with poop in them, and now it was actually happening!

There was a heavy-set girl, and she was listing all the people and pets in her life that died. She said that in most cases, she did not cry, or did not cry enough. I thought back to instances when I lost people and pets and often that was the case with me, as well.

I saw B.E. (from campfire girls as a kid). She was thinner than I remembered, and her appearance kept oscillating between looking our regular age and looking really old. Her skin was that tan, leathery variety of skin. I realized something about her younger sister, that her younger sister looked really old, and I expected B to look  old, as well.

Trees and Photos

Download Colin creevey

I had dreamed that my grandparents' house was arranged in a square around a courtyard. I think where the den was supposed 2 B in real life, it was the courtyard, and it had oak trees. M had stuck pictures of K and his ex-gf, M, in one of the trees. It was in preparation for this thing that kept happening, I think, on a yearly basis. Before I went back to the courtyard, a person, a sort of mentor-ish one, similar to K at work, or else S.A. from high school running, said that something about eating food at dinnertime with me and the group of peole I was gonna be with. Then I was talking with D about where the master bedroom was located. It was behind the bathroom.

I think before that, I was standing in line behind K to get my 6th grade school picture taken. He took his, and I guess the photographers had a digital preview of the picture that they looked at before letting the person go (I guess they wanted to check it to make sure it looked okay). I got up there and they told me to look at the moon as it went across the sky (it moved fast; took about 2 or 3 seconds to travel across the sky), and as soon as the moon got almost behind the photographer folks, the mood would disappear, and I was to look at the photographers and smile or whatever. But, when they took the 1st picture, they looked at the proof and decided to take another one. I thought, well, yes, it's been years since I've looked decent in any photographs.

I dreamed this morning that the digital charting system was actually the floor of a room and it was the size of the room. People were talking about a certain case that had an appointment slot that had been filled. I wanted it to be orange, so all the little squares on the floor would make a rainbow color. I said the girl should see the psychiatrist. Other people said she'd never go. I realized that pushing for psychiatry might mean that she would never come back, so I thought about reconsidering my suggestion.

Download Something else

The Shower Room

I dreamed that progress in therapy was documented in 12ths. Like, a person is 1/12 recovered from their issue or problem. There was some debate about whether these fractions should be reduced, say in the case of 8/12, should that be changed to 2/3, or should 6/12 really be 1/2? I was in favor of leaving 12 on the denominator cuz it made stuff easier to add up if it all had the same denominator.

I dreamed I was on a "therapy team," although I'm not sure if that's what it was called in the dream. It was a team of me and my peers and we did therapy, but I'm not sure how it was done if it was a team. One of the people in charge said that there was a "shower room" whose entrance was in a corner or a side door to the room we usually met in, which was sort of a big, dimly lit, warm brownish auditorium. We had amplifiers, so therapy was all mixed together with music, somehow.

I didn't know where the shower room was, but apparently, it was a place where we could all sleep sometimes. My friend, C, was on the team, and I was pretty sure she knew where the shower room was. I kept on looking for it, but I couldn't find it. I imagined it being sort of like a locker room, with showers in it or a shower in it. I imagined a long bench and lockers the way locker rooms are. But I couldn't find the room. I couldn't find the entrance to the room. I couldn't find it anywhere. I kept on asking people, and they kept on indicating a particular direction and sayin' it was over there. But, I'd look, and I couldn't find any entrance or anything. Someone would point, and I'd see a transparent box, but I thought that wasn't big enuff cuz that was about 5x5 or so. I think it was sorta tinted glass.

But, then, I looked to the left of where the stage should be in the room (but it was a doorway). There was this room that was sort of like a half of an octagon, and its walls were glass. It's like glass walls had been added to the regular walls, and the floor inside that room was about 2 feet higher than the floor in the big, main room. There was sort of a glass cubicle in there. I asked this guy, probably younger than me, if that was the shower room. He said yes. I thought, that's kind of funny, cuz all along, I'd assumed that it wasn't the shower room cuz you could see through its walls (glass). It just seemed like this incidental room-thingy, almost like a foyer, all unimportant. Yet, in reality, it was the very-important shower room. The glass cubicle in it was the shower (although I don't remember there being any particular nozzle.)

The Water

I dreamed a clt offered to show a manuscript of my novel to a friend of hers who's in the publishing business once I was finished. I wondered why she wanted to do this generous thing, as well as whether it was a good idea, in terms of professionalism to take her up on it. Then I was reading a book to my family and C, and I was really stumbling over the words cuz I'm not good at reading out loud. I was about to play a song on my guitar and sing it, even though the bass line was the most important instrument part. It was either gonna be College Town or Broken Compact Disk. But, first I had to read this book, and I'm not sure if I had to read the entire book or not, but it was lengthy, whatever it was. I ended up reading more smoothly and fluidly than previously cuz I got less self-conscious. Then there was a part of the book that was about something like a Buddhist Monastary, or something holy and sacred like that, in an Eastern sorta way. At that place, there was running water, like a stream or something, and it ran over Diet Coke and Diet 7-Up fridge packs. In the book it said that at some point or points, everybody becomes that water. I wondered why they said it was from time to time, rather than all the time, cuz in Buddhism, you'd think they'd say that you're the water all the time.

Eggs and Apartments; Journeys to Where I Already Was

I dreamed I was in a class where the assignment was to select a character in Donnie Darko and in class we were supposed to do presentations where we cued the video up to places in the movie where the character is in it and then briefly discuss those scenes in the class. I realized it was about 5 (or 15?) minutes till class, an evening class, in a little cabin in the middle of a remote woods. There was a TV and a VCR and some very long-winded woman was rehearsing her presentation, while the rest of us were watching. I realized, oh shit, this long-winded chick is not going to finish in time for any of the rest of us to be able to find the places where we're supposed to cue up the video. Then, I realized the video was on tape rather than DVD (it was an audio tape, by the looks of it), and as a result, it would take forever to be able to cue up the tape to where you want it to be!

Some dudes said there was a TV in the other room of the cabin, and we went over there to try to get ready for our assignments. I decided that, rather than a character, I'd focus on a theme. I was gonna cue the video up to parts in the movie where there were eggs. I was gonna discuss how eggs in the movie represented purity. Then I wondered if I should make the eggs symbolize protection. I thought about the amorphous, soft innards, surrounded by the hard shell, and thought, yeah, the shell could symbolize protection. In the dream, it felt like that'd be a hard case to make, though. There was a part of the movie, where Donnie Darko and some other character, a girl, I think, were in a room, and they were going to exit the room. But, when they got outside the room, vampires might be there. They decided to smear egg all over themselves in order to protect themselves from the vampires. I thought, in that instance, the eggs would represent both purity and protection; they're protecting themselves from the evil of the vampires with the purity of eggs.

Then, I was looking at the very beginning of the movie where, I think it was his sister who was cracking eggs into a frying pan and making fried eggs. The very first shot of the movie would be a close up of the eggs frying. But, as I watched, it looked like Maggie Gyllenhal was having an argument with someone before she could cook the eggs, so I had trouble finding where to cue it up.

Then I was in downtown LA somewhere, I guess, and I wanted to get cab. There were 2 other people ahead of me. The cab pulled up, and the cab driver, a very nice man, said we could all 3 get in. The other 2 had already gotten in before me and were happy to be riding together, but then I got the impression that they weren't thrilled about me getting in, too. Maybe it'd be too many stops or something. They both said where they wanted to go. I said I wanted to go to "the University of Southern California." The cab driver pointed out to me that we were already at USC, in the middle of campus. I looked around, and, sure enough, I was at USC. I wanted to go to a particular athletics-related building, and for some reason, I felt it was logical to have to go on a journey to get to where I already was. But I decided against the cab ride, since it'd be cheaper and faster to stay where I was.

I was visiting K and N, who lived at the top of a high hill, in the middle of the New Hampshire or Vermont woods, in a little cabin (maybe about 3-ish rooms). There was an apartment I was looking into renting that was quite a drive from their place, even though it was in the same area. It was maybe about 20 or 30 minutes away. It'd probably be quite a drive from work, as well.

Then, a little while later, I was at my parents' house, and my mom was telling me to put deposits on all the apartments I looked at. That way, I'd have a better chance of ending up with something. I think she already even put a deposit on one for me. She said I should put a deposit on a particular one that, if it were real life, would be on the soccer field at Sachem Village, where I used to live. I said I really didn't like that apartment at all and couldn't imagine myself living there. She got mad at me. I opened the screen door to let in the kitties; one was at the bottom of the stairs and one was on the stairs. I was afraid they wouldn't want to come in, and there was some kind of scary or evil presence out there with them. I said "come here" or "come on in" and they both ran up the stairs and in the house. I was relieved.

Download Stupid just like you

Black Holes and Fires and Phallic Microphones

I dreamed MM and her family owned an oil well of some sort. It's like, there was this subterranean cavern filled with oil, and when her family started drilling, they hit some kind of pocket that opened up a black hole. I talked to her about it, and I said I'd had a dream about the same thing, about drilling into an oil well that turned into a black hole, and the earth crumbled as a result. The earth on top of the oil well, not the entire earth. I think we were at a restaurant with lots of people at it when we were talking about it. Or maybe we were remembering the restaurant. It was sorta like a work function, and it was sort of a nice dark brown lit place.

Later, I was playing a gig, and for a while I was in an all-girl band with 3 members. There was a large audience, and it was sort of an outdoors place. Sort of like a cafe, I guess, but out doors, with a couple shelters (a roof supported by 4 posts). There were a bunch of young-ish guys leaning on a wooden wall about 3 or 4 feet high, and they started dissipating. It looked like they had plans for the evening. The band re-formed so that it was just me and my ex-boyfriend, J. I think he was my boyfriend in the dream. The owners of the place said we weren't allowed to have more than 1 person singing, and I'm not sure why they didn't want harmonies or multiple microphones. But, I went ahead and sang harmony into the same microphone J was singing into cuz screw 'em. There wasn't much they could do, anyway. And, although it was well-attended, people kept leaving. We started playing a somewhat jazzy piece, and he ended up way over, about 20 or 30 feet away from me under a different wood shelter. He was playing sort of an organ part on keyboards. We got to the point in the song where he was supposed to start singing, but he didn't. He just played the keyboard part that started up at the same time. I think it had sort of a raggae beat.

I ran up to him (still playing my guitar) and reminded him that he's supposed to start singing. He's like all, "oh shit" and he and I both run back to the place where we both originally were. He positioned himself on the floor where he was supposed to start singing, and I got a microphone on a microphone stand (it was all one thing, the mic and the stand) (it was black). I was adjusting the mic stand so he could sing into it; it was at about a 45 degree angle, and I was thinking about the phallic nature of it while I was messing around with it. We looked and realized the whole audience had left. Even the owner of the place, who had been under the overhang of the structure (that must've housed the kitchen) had left. There was somewhat muddy dirt with all these tire tracks, some of which looked like tractor tracks. I assumed people didn't want to stay because there was no alcohol, and no or not much food. If it was a bar with food, people'd've stayed.

Then, I was walking past a police station which was next door to where I was living in the dream. There was smoke coming out of the police station, and there was a police man standing outside of the structure just looking at the smoke coming out of it, but not doing anything about it. I thought it was odd that he wasn't doing anything to put out the fire.

I went to the place where I lived, which was sort of like real life, but lighter inside. There were other people who lived there, too, and the police were investigating them, I guess, to see if they had started the fire.

Hilly Football Field

I dreamed somebody's mom called and said something to the effect that she was worried about that somebody. Then somebody got on the phone with me and said she was real depressed, since we're no longer in contact. I told her to exercise daily and take omega 3 supplements. I wasn't sure if she'd do it. I ended up in a bookstore with her and her mom, and her mom told her to go look at the more technical types of books, while me and the mom would look at stuff that's more for girls. I thought it odd that the mom assumed I'd like the same kind of stuff she did.

The Minnesota Vikings, maybe, or some such football team, there was a commercial for them, playing on their home stadium. The weird thing is that the football field was really hilly. All it was was rolling hills with those little whitle lines drawn on the hills. I wondered if that was for reals, if that was really the field they played on. I also wondered if the point was that the hilly-ness highlighted their rugged natures.

Download Pressure

Download Many diamonds

I dreamed of a person who lived in a very small house, I think. I'm not sure, though. Well, actually, ealier in the dream, I dreamed I was hanging photographs on one of the walls at my parents' house, and I was hanging them with blue thumb tacks. The plastic, sticky-outty kind that you use on bulletin boards. I realized there were pictures of my ex-boyfriend, P, and that my parents wouldn't like that. There were also 2 photos glued to paper-bag material, and I folded it so one of the photos was against the wall, facing the wall. That one was of me and a friend, and you could see our bras. She had her shirt off, and I wore my bra on the outside of a black shirt.

Then there was the thing with the person in a small house, and the identity of the person kept shifting, from a coach, I think, to a professor to K. There was something tiered in the tiny, 1-room house, and there was something potentially dangerous about it, as well. I think there may have been an altar in there, too.

Then my parents called me to the deck to overlook the back yard, where a person or animal was peeing a whole lot. Then it turned out the pee was actually poop, but it was the consistency of pee. The poop turned into a happy pig and it ran around the back yard. Or it galavanted. I was afraid of the pig and I thought of the swine flu, too. Or, it's like, I didn't know whether to be afraid of the pig or not cuz it just seemed like this really happy, animated pig (made out of pee or poop, though). Me and my parents conjectured about what Eckhart Tolle said about everything in the universe being endowed with consciousness and God-energy. I thought, wow, even pee and poop can be a nice thing and turn into a nice, friendly animal.